Running a business, Marketing, Networking, as well as balancing work and family can very quickly put a person into under or overwhelm. Somewhere between Under whelm and Overwhelm, is the place where we are busy and fully engaged, but also in control of our lives. A colleague of mine described this magical place as WHELM! The simplicity of it has always made me smile, which is the beginning of relaxing and finding that place for myself. Take a moment to discover what that middle ground looks and feels like for you and some ways you can establish a more permanent residence in this land of Whelm!

We are probably all familiar with under whelm. Some characteristics of this place can include feeling stuck, maybe even a bit frightened. Procrastination rules! We may feel out of our league and like we do not have the skills to move ahead. We can feel bored in this place, lethargic and our energy might be flat. In under whelm the liveliest past time is often second guessing ourselves and insuring ourselves we not good enough. This is also the place where we might try to compensate by eating snacks and junk food and watching an overdose of television. We may shut out relationships and be closed to suggestions. Under whelm is usually a gray place with very little brightness. Ideas rarely grow here. Possibility has trouble existing and we might believe change can only bring disaster. This is not a place in which we generally choose to spend a lot of time, although it can also be a time of forced reflection and refueling we require to move on. The key is to recognize we are in it, take the lessons and gifts it has to offer and then decide if we are ready to choose a new direction.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Overwhelm. This too is a place we may often visit but work hard to leave behind us. It has a tendency to lure us with its action packed atmosphere and its full and varied schedule of events. But this place can be where our patience runs thinnest and our parts wear out fastest. Our relationships get stressed. Overwhelm is often when we have accepted responsibility for just one more thing than we can handle with true commitment and skill. We can find ourselves rushing to get it all done, cutting corners to fit in one more item, just to discover that Murphy’s Law is pasted to our forehead: everything that can possibly go wrong, does! On occasion, when the to do list gets beyond our capabilities, overwhelm can ship us direct to under whelm. We get stuck and immobile and we are exhausted, and may even have stepped unnecessarily on the toes of several people in our lives we love.

Overwhelm can often be the most difficult to recognize due to its energizing lure. We can be just fine and humming along and then suddenly it seems the scale tips drastically and dumps us into overwhelm. The key is to be aware of the scale and what we are putting onto it. Like the Deli server who can instinctively slice an exact half-pound of cold cuts, we need to become experts in our ability to balance the fullness of our lives. It is not magic, the Deli server learned by practice and attention to details, and so can we. Each of us has a unique balance that works for us. Some can handle and juggle many varied tasks and thrive on this balance, others require a more focused balance. Our responsibility is to be aware of when our scales begin to tip and adjust accordingly. It often begins with learning a gracious way to say a simple two-letter word, no.

Whelm: The middle ground. In this place we can have flow or momentum that keeps us interested and on our toes doing our best. Our relationships are a balance of satisfying give and take. Our work is exciting and demanding and we are accomplishing what is important to us. We are opened to ideas, suggestions and change and can see possibility around every corner. Our time management allows us to get it all done and still have time to find that moment of peace, or the time for a walk in nature and a chance to hone our relationships and ourselves. Whelm is also different for each of us. It is important to discover what it looks like for you, how it feels and what amount of commitment and activity can be incorporated and still have the place in an order that works for your life. It is often about experimentation, attention to the details of what makes us happy and run smoothly and then practice till we get it just right, for us!

Coaching Challenge: Take time to review your world and all that you have in it. Review your commitments and relationships, your work, your free time and fun quotient. Allow yourself to be very aware of when you are at your best and what is in your life and how you are orchestrating it during those best times. Also be aware of what might tip your scales in one direction or another and move you off your best center. Once you have built awareness, begin to make small changes that will help you find YOUR middle ground.